Sunday, July 13, 2014

By The Time

One of my favorite things to watch on TV are the weight loss transformation shows.  I love to see the end results.  You see them start so defeated, be chosen for the show, make major changes and eventually what they look like in the end.  It is so inspiring to see their transformations.  Some shows you watch for months to get to what they look like in the end.  Others you see one person’s year-long transformation in one night.

Each season when I start one of the shows that you watch for months to see the end result I think to myself “by the time they are at or near the end, I want to be at 'x' weight”.  How many seasons have started and ended now, and I hadn’t made those changes?

I will have friends announce their pregnancies, and I think “by the time their baby comes, I would like to have lost 'x' weight”.  And the baby comes, celebrates a birthday, etc…and I haven’t made any changes.

Well, at almost two weeks in, that has all changed!  I am making the positive changes I have said I wanted to.  I am eating healthier.  I am losing weight.  I am feeling better. Compared to the past though, I didn’t let one meal or one bad choice keep me from going back to it.  I didn’t throw in the towel just because I messed up. 

I noticed that when eating better, I actually am excited to weigh in the next day.  I want to see if what I did the day before made the scale move at all.  If it is the same, I still keep going.  I am not giving up.

Thank you so much for all of the support.  I really appreciate it.  I believe that is a lot of what is helping me get through and keep going. 


I will give a weight update in the next few days at some point.  I am down weight, but want to start consistently updating on a certain date and haven’t decided on a “Transformation Tuesday” or “Weigh-in Wednesday” yet.  Thoughts?

Monday, June 30, 2014

Regrets

Do you ever feel like you have regrets?  I know I do. 

Regrets about something I said when I wasn’t thinking and just spoke. Regrets about the way I parent a certain situation. Regrets about the way a day went and all the things I could have done and didn’t. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Lately though, I am realizing how I have had an ongoing regret for at least 8 years, maybe more. I keep saying I am going to make changes, yet I haven’t.  I keep making a plan for it, but nothing is different.  So I decided to blog about it. 

What if I am not the only one with this struggle?  What if there are other people going through this too and need someone to reach out and let them know that they aren’t alone. I am writing here for the accountability.  Now nothing is a secret.

My biggest regret is that I keep saying I am going to eat well, lose weight, and make these lifestyle changes and I haven’t done it.  I may for a bit, but then throw in the towel because I want to eat a candy bar or eat some pizza instead of improve my life. 

I have a lot (and I do me a LOT) of self-hate because of this.  I don’t want to be setting a bad example for my children (and especially my daughter).  I want them to know how to eat healthy foods, work out, and because of them doing those things be able to enjoy life.  I want to set that example.  And I know since I am the one who buys and makes our food that the problem is my fault.

So, I am going to lay out my changes.  And if you see me doing one of these things, in a kind way please say something and help me out!  I would love to do the same for you if you want!

--Avoid sweets for the next 90 days, and after that just for special occasions (next time would be my son’s birthday in October).  I am SUPER addicted to chocolate.  But I want to cut all sweets for the time being.
--Over the next few weeks, stop drinking pop.  Why not cold turkey??  Well, I just can’t do it.  I know I would be going through awful withdraw if I cut it out without weaning down the amount first.
--Up the amount of water I drink each day.
--Be active in some way each day.  A walk with the kids. Setting up cones with my son and running back and forth between them.  Jumping rope. Doing a work out video. Going to a local track and running a few laps.  But doing something each day to be active.
--Cut out bread.  I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and know that I should be avoiding bread.  We already don’t buy it, but if we are out I will eat it and just need to stop.
--Cut out on eating out.  If I know we are going to be somewhere where I know we will eat out, plan out what I will eat. 
--Start having daily snacks.  And snacks as in carrots, seeds, or some kind of protein.

So, here is what I have been debating saying for a while.  I have thought about starting a blog now for several weeks and when I thought about it I wanted to be totally real.  I know as a woman we aren’t supposed to talk about our weight.  We are supposed to keep things hidden and not say the truth.  But I am going to put it out there.  I am going to list my weight and a current picture of myself.  I will update weekly with how things are going.

I plan on being honest here in other ways too.  I want to take pics of my home in their current state and then an updated picture after I have cleaned a room/area. 

I will be sharing my Spiritual journey and growth as well.  There is a study I recently came across and I think given my self-hate will be good for me and I want to share about it. 


The moment of truth has arrived.  I am 198 lbs.  I am 5’ 2” and weigh almost 200 lbs.  The journey starts now.  I hope you will support me and maybe even join in.  Let’s do this together!